In some ways this writing is a continuation of my thoughts on meditation from last week. It is interesting how when I write about something it can be very convicting. So, when I wrote last week about meditation from a Christian perspective, I realized that I spend much more time reading and studying the scripture rather than specifically meditating on God’s word. Therefore, I spent a portion of my devotional time this week intentionally meditating on Psalm 32, and so I want to share a few thoughts. First, I think that it is important to read through Psalm 32 and Psalm 139:23-24 to get a better picture of my reflection.
(Psalm 32, NASB) “How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit! When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah. Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him. Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones; And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart”.
(Psalm 139:23-24, NASB) “Search me, God, and know my heart; Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way”.
The more I read over Psalm 32, the more challenging it was to even get past the first verse without being overwhelmed by God’s grace – “How blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered!” To think how undeserving I am to be forgiven of all of my transgressions by a righteous God, and to ponder what Christ endured when He bore my sins on the cross brings me both such great sorrow and an overwhelming joy (Peter 2:24, NASB “and He Himself brought our sins in His body up on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; by His wounds you were healed”). And then to think even now, how despicable of me to try to hide some of my transgressions from the creator of the universe. But thanks be to God, for if I am willing, He will instruct me and teach me in the way everlasting (Psalm 32:8, also see Psalm 139:23-24). Yet, I need to be willing to surrender myself to His purpose, not mine. For just as only God can save me, only God can search the deep recesses of my heart to reveal my true intentions and motivations (Proverbs 21:2 “Every person’s way is right in his own eyes, But the Lord examines the hearts”).
Oh, but it is so much easier to go on day and night ignoring those insights God provides to our inner workings and being. And what can I really learn from my interactions and reactions to others in helping me to understand where my true heart rests, without taking the time to reflect and to be open to God’s instruction? Even in those mundane things such as how I react to the drivers around me when I am on the highway – do I beep the horn or speed up when someone tries to pull in front of me, or do I slow down to let the person in? – and do I ponder what those reactions say about the condition of my heart when I read through Psalm 32 (Yes, a true struggle)? And oh how quick I am to focus on the irresponsible driving of the other person than to recognize my frustration or anger. But thankfully, we serve a compassionate and gracious God, who instructs me and shows me mercy (Psalm 86:15, But You, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, Slow to anger and abundant in mercy and truth). And this is a small glimpse of those things God reveals to me when I meditate on His word.
But all is not lost, for ultimately “he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him” and therefore “Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones; And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart” (Psalm 32:10-11). So this is my conclusion – regularly meditate on God’s word and be willing to listen and follow the Lord’s instruction, and ultimately rejoice in the Lord.